New Learning over the FMP Process(500 wds)

When I embarked on the Final Major project, I was still learning by experimentation and making mistakes. I enjoyed working in the darkroom, getting 'lost' for hours with experimental processes. I would get so excited, I would just rush forward, without thinking about my desired outcome or bothering to record the process for future reference. Now I am much better organised and have learnt to curb my enthusiasm long enough to write details of exposure time, filters and Fstops on the back of each image.
In this way I am able to repeat effects I like. I have definitely taught myself to think ahead to what I want to produce and how it will meet set assessment criteria. I regularly refer to my initial Gannt Chart for the FMP and check that I am on track with the weekly schedule. I think I have become a more professional practitioner.
I started the M.A course with very little knowledge or skill in digital processes. I was thinking in analogue and 'hands-on' manner and trying to translate that into digital processes.

I was very lucky to be working with Creative Arts students, who were all very generous with their time and expertise when I got stuck on something. As I work with dyslexic students, they are excellent at explaining new techniques to a slow learner like me! They knew exactly how important it was to allow me to learn the new skill with my hands on the keyboard, with them talking to me. That must make me a combination of a Kinaesthetic and auditory learner. I recorded instructions on my phone and wrote them up afterwards, so I have my own 'crib sheets.' They give me confidence.

I also loved regularly sharing work, and having discussions about theories, new artists and ideas with my students, friends and peers. This proved a rich and valuable learning experience. We were able to inspire each other, give useful feedback and make new suggestions.
Examples of posts from my blog about new learning:

Printing onto silk
Clone stamp
Holger Putin Tutorial
Polygon tool
Flipping horizontal and Vertical
Hanging and wall mounting
responding to work of others

If I were to analyse my learning processes:

I LOOK at work of other artists--- and try to RECREATE it in a new way, learning the necessary skills.

I READ about theories, or the thoughts and practises of other practitioners

---and try to EXPRESS my own interpretation using similar techniques and processes.

I FEEL  an emotional response to what I see or read --- and try to represent or evoke that same feeling in my work, experimenting with new methodologies and testing it out on others.

Over all, I have taught myself to work in a more structured, efficient  way, recording techniques, ideas and people as I go along. I feel I have learnt a lot about how I learn best and what had obstructed my learning process in the past. I try hard now to follow the new structures I have put in place.

Creative Decision Making over the FMP Process (500 wds)

Creative Decision Making

Several key theories underpin the creative decision making for my Final Major Project.
I have built on my understanding of Julia Kristeva’s theory of the Abject (Kristeva, 1982). In an attempt to interpret what we find abject as humans, I have developed my own personal response. I studied artists who used the abject in their work in order to make a serious point or relay a message.
The idea that there were common global elicitors of disgust also fed into my work and influenced decisions I made. (Rozin Et al.1994)
I wanted to refer to the idea of 'Aura’ surrounding an original piece of art due to the touch of the artist, first suggested by Walter Benjamin (Benjamin, 1969). So chose to print onto silk, then prepare the fabric for hanging, which involved a lot of hands-on input from me, ensuring my work had an aura of its own. I was also influenced by the idea of an image having a ‘Punctum’ described by Rowland Barthes (1981) as something within a photographic image, which caught and held the viewer’s eye making an almost physical, emotional connection. Through the selection and combination of shapes, colours and composition, I tried to create an image that drew the eyes to a central ‘void’, point of focus or vanishing point which became the initial ‘punctum’ of the image.
I chose to create symmetrical pieces from several manipulated sections, partly to mask the nature of the objects I was using and partly again to draw the eye. It seems that balanced proportions are pleasing to humans and are present in the creative arts of most cultures and eras. (Hahn, 1998)
I made creative choices based on my study of Old Dutch Masters’ still life paintings of flowers, fruit, insects and skulls from the 17th Century such as Willem Kalf and Jan Davidsz de Heem.
I incorporated their theme of the transience of beauty; giving way to decay and death as represented by the creeping insect and skull symbolism.
I researched other artists in the field of photography in order to better understand and create work that caused a ‘Seduction/Repulsion’ effect.
The use of bright colours, simple symmetrical design and balanced composition in the work of Gilbert and George (1994,2014) have a mesmeric effect on the viewer, holding the attention much like a stained glass window in a church. It is not until closer, more detailed study that you realise there are quite unsettling objects and messages in the images. I chose to produce work with a serious message cloaked in a seductive first impression.
Many artists have used their art as a form of therapy. This has influenced the creative decision making in my Final Major Project. Artists such as Louise Bourgeois, Cindy Sherman, Tracy Emin and Yayio Kusama have all used personal experiences to inform and shape their work. Making the choice to use personal material, I too have added deeper meaning and weight. The psychology of ‘facing your demons’ described as ‘Acceptance and Commitment Therapy’ (Harris, 2014) also influenced the decision to represent all my ‘demons’ symbolically.
As a result of the creative decisions I have made concerning dissemination for exhibition, I have produced work that is glossy and attractive. The silk hangings are positioned in such a way that they move and flutter close to the viewer, making the experience haptic and sensual. The glossy paper images are slightly hidden, in a restricted space, so have to be sought out for closer consideration. The symbolic objects within the images then reveal themselves, causing a jolt. The aim is to share something of the shock and distress of some of my life experiences.



Bibliography

Barthes, R. (1981) ‘Camera Lucida-Reflections on Photography’
New York: Hill and Wang


Benjamin, Walter, (1969) ‘The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction.’ In Illuminations, New York: Schocken Books) 221.


Gilbert and George
‘Naked Shit Pictures’ (1994)Available at: ‪www.southlondongallery.org/page/gilbert-george-the-naked.‬..‬‬‬
‘Scapegoating Pictures for London’(2014) Available at:
‪whitecube.com/exhibitions/gilbert_george_scapegoating..‬[ both accessed 8 August 2014]‬‬‬

Haidt Et al (1994)  ‘Individual Differences in Sensitivity: A Scale Sampling Seven Domains of Disgust Elicitors’  Journal of Personality and individual Differences
 (4. 16.)

Hahn, W. (1998) ‘Symmetry as a Developmental Principle in Nature and Art’ Germany: Art & Science Research Institute.

Harris, R. (2014) ‘Embracing your demons: an overview of acceptance and commitment Theory’ Available at: actskills.com/articles/embracing-your-demons-an-overview..‬[accessed 20. August 2014]

Kristeva, J. (1982) ‘Powers of Horror: An essay on Abjection’ Leon, S. Roudiez (Translator) New York: Columbia University Press

Rozin, P., Haidt, J., & McCauley, C. R. (2008). Disgust. In M. Lewis, J. M. Haviland-Jones & L. F. Barrett (Eds.), Handbook of emotions, 3rd ed. (pp. 757-776). New York: Guilford

More Planning and Preparation

I am in the studio again thinking about how to show my work. I have decided to print another two fabric hangings so that the viewer feels a little overawed and intimidated (hopefully)

 I measured the studio and am thinking about how to make the most impact with the space I have.

I am going to create a corridor down the centre of the room, using the hangings as 'false walls'.
I will then place an image behind each hanging so that you have to walk behind it to see the image.
I may place a third image on each side wall, in the gap between the hangings. That will draw the viewer towards it and make them aware of the images hidden behind. I hope to evoke the feeling that  I cannot escape my shit, and that it is always there, hidden in the background, waiting to come crashing into my life again.

I have also been painting cardboard boxes that I want to use to mount some of the paper images on.
I am also painting the walls and plinth ...

Once these are dry, I will experiment by sticking the image to the largest side and attaching the box to the wall. I want to give the impression of the images 'hanging' in the same way as the fabric.

Reflection and Evaluation Workshop 13/08/14

The M.A Media group had a workshop with Ian Willcock about  our preparation for the final assignment of our course of study today.

Today we looked in more detail at the assessment criteria and details of the brief. As well as a powerpoint presentation, Ian organised pair and group sessions which really helped to involve me actively in discussing the objectives, thinking about them, and finding solutions. The whole session suited the way I learn, as it was fast-paced and divided into several different tasks and formats.

I need to prepare a presentation evaluating my final project by 2nd September, have my work up in the studio for assessment,  and make sure I have completed my blog according to specified requirements  by 16.00 on Wednesday 3rd September.
I also have to include two 500 word posts in my blog:
 one reflecting on my creative decision making,
 and the other on the process of learning new skills during the course of my Final Major Project.

To begin with I found it difficult to separate out these two elements as I tend to combine them. When I learn something new, I want to experiment by taking my work in a different direction. Alternatively,   when I want to try  something that I have seen at an exhibition, I seek out the skills necessary to do it.

Reflection and Evaluation
Reflection is a very personal process which questions what I have done, how it made me feel, what I was good or bad at and how I might have done things differently. This questioning process should lead me to be a more self-aware practitioner.
Evaluation is a far more academic, structured and objective process. I need to establish justifiable criteria to apply to my artefact and do so with reference to underpinning research and evidence to support my judgements.

The pair activity was in the form of an interview about each other's work. The questions I chose to ask were 'stepping off points' which lead to an interesting discussion. It was interesting to see the passion and excitement generated by talking about our own work.

My most fruitful questions were:

What or who was the inspiration for your work?

What was the most difficult part?

What was the message you were trying to express?

Do you think it 'works'?

When we shared questions with another pair, and then heard from the other groups, I realised that I had not looked ahead at the end purpose of this exercise,  and geared my  questions towards the assignment criteria. I had not included questions about documentation and time management, feedback and how you used it, new skills learnt and creative decision making.
My original questions were more about reflection.

I realised that once I had established a full range of suitable questions, they could form the 'bones'  of my written reflection and evaluation.

As a result of this workshop I have set myself several tasks:

1. Look back through my blog posts and make notes under:

a) Creative Decision Making

b) New Learning

c) Placing my work at the forefront

2. Check the Assessment criteria,  make sureI know the requirements,
 then tick them off as they are met

3. Start thinking about criteria I will use to evaluate my own work

4. Begin to plan my presentation

I usually make these kind of 'To Do' lists in my note book, but felt it was important to evidence this aspect of my own methodology and management of time and tasks in a blog post that can be used as an example for two of the learning outcomes 'manage self….' and '..make good use of time and resources…'

Wall Mounting Considerations

I would like to mount the paper images on the walls of the studio with as little around them to distract the audience as possible. So, no frame or border, or obvious sign of fixing to the wall.

I saw some very big pieces of work in the Chapman Lounge, in the main Building of College Lane,  which were mounted onto blocks of wood about 5 centimetres deep. The work was bigger than the mount behind, so it seemed to 'float' off the wall. A similar construction for my work would almost push the image towards the audience more, creating an unsettling sense of proximity and perhaps intimidation.

There is about 3 c. m of 'overhang' on each edge of the work, so the means of mounting and attachment to the wall are not visible.
The work had no details with it so I cannot credit the artist here.

I found an A3 paper box, and experimented with it as a form of attachment for an A2 image.

I quite like the effect here as from front-on the image is suspended at eye level. The parts of the image that are not supported by the backing box may bend or warp slightly, so I ay have to think about building little struts attached to the box that add rigidity to the whole of the image.

A some angles, the box behind the image will be visible, if only glanced as the viewer is moving round the room. so the finish and quality of the surface will need to be more uniform and look solid. I could make it firmer by attaching wide tape round every side, then paint it with white emulsion so that it disappears into the white wall in the background.

These images also highlight the added problem of light bouncing off the glossy surface of the image causing the detail to be distorted or blocked out. I may be able to soften or diffuse the light source in some ay to prevent this effect.

When the image is viewed from directly in front, there is no light flare on the surface. I like the simplicity of this method of mounting.

I found some A3 storage boxes that were being thrown away, so I was able to have 10 of them. They are more substantial than the one featured above, and once painted may form a perfect, rigid support and mount for the paper images.

The depth is about 7 c.m so the 'floating' effect will be even more prominent.

I will probably have to glue all the sides together to ensure the support remains rigid. Then I will paint them with white emulsion. It is very important that the images are all suspended at exactly the same height. I want to create a sense of 'order' and 'control' just as I have within the images themselves. I think two screws fixed just smaller than the width of the top edge of the box would enable me to push the box mount onto the screws, then they will be invisible. 

I have researched the average eye-level height of men and women which is 160 c.m. (www.google.uk) I will temporarily attach an image at the height and get some feedback from peers.

Wearing my Work

Holgar Putin, the visiting freelance commercial photographer commented on the haptic nature of my images on fabric. He also said that although I fixed 'All My Shit' onto the surface of the fabric, because of the way I handled it and stored it, it was still part of me.
Of course, this is true; no matter how I disseminate the symbol-heavy pieces, the actual reality of what the work represents will still be with me and a part of me.
I considered presenting the results of my enquiry in the form of a performance installation where I dress myself in the silky fabric, then pack it away again, as if to say ' I have all these stressors, but if I look at them long and hard and try to see beauty in them, I can then pack them away again and leave them be for a while'

Wearing All my Shit 

Wearing all my shit I

However, I would like to include still glossy images on paper, perhaps positioned on the wall behind the silk hanging, so the viewer moves round the fabric to see what is behind. That way , they also get to see the image from the back.

Further Dissemination considerations

I know that I have to think very carefully about the reasoning behind the way I choose to display my final work.
There has to be consideration of the effects I am attempting to produce and the message of my work. How can I show that I am drawing attention to negatives but in a beautiful way? How can I show the contrast between seductive, bright images and the hidden menace and abjection within them?
How do I evoke a sense of disgust and perhaps empathy with the issues I am exploring?

I like the idea of the hepatic nature of the silk squares; the fact that the negative objects symbolising "All My Shit' are drawn out of me and onto the smooth surface of the fabric. But they are still part of me and will continue to assert an influence. So the piece of silk which I unfold carefully from its bag, like an object of clothing, then handle and caress, display, then re-package, better represents the relationship with my demons than perhaps the A2 images can? I can take a long look at what upsets me and perhaps see the positive side of them, the beauty and calm I have created by manipulating them, then re-package my 'shit' and put it out of sight. This is a Mindfulness 'Behaviour Therapy' technique called 'Acceptance and Commitment Therapy'
R.Harris (2006) 'Psychotherapy in Australia' (vol: 12. No 4 )

The viewer moving closely between and brushing against the bright symmetrical silk hangings may be delighted by the experience. Then they make their way towards the shelf of containers at the far end of the room. Once they have proceeded into the more enclosed space, read the index cards which explain the significance of each symbol contained in the images and looked at the samples contained in transparent labeled draws they will have a clearer understanding of the subject matter and its influence.

Holger Pootin Tutorial.

Had a very useful Photoshop session with this experienced and very knowledgeable tutor.
Unfortunately, it is quite late in my 2 year M.A course, with only weeks until the final assessment to start applying all of the tools he showed me, as I need to allow time for printing and mounting.

However, I can apply some of the tips and I will use them in the future. I have had problems when printing when the colours on my laptop screen are not the same as those that are printed. This is a simple thing to fix, but I have taught myself Photoshop, and didn't know this before. As long as the laptop and the printer I will be using are calibrated to the same settings I will never have this problem again.

I learnt how to prepare a raw image before opening it in Photoshop. In the past, I would just check the image was O.K and open it in Photoshop. The 'temperature' slider is particularly useful to change the lighting from a cooler blue tone to a warm yellow/orange tone.

I also learnt about an effect called 'Moire' which I know as a kind of  'watered silk'. In digital photography however,  this is the blurring almost psychedelic effect that can occur on pattern in an image. Holger showed us the blur filter that can remove Moire.

In photoshop, Holger went through the various adjustments in the process of creating the best image we can.

Holger gave me feedback on one of the printed fabric pieces I have made for my assessment. He liked the way it was something that I brought in a bag, unwrapped and held up. I wasn't planning to make my assessment a performance piece, but that is an interesting idea. He said that I had got out all my negatives onto the fabric, but I had not escaped from them; they are still part of me. The fabric, that is held and handled shows this.

he also talked about how the symmetry and colours of the image were mesmerising and drew your eye into it, only to be confronted by the actual subject matter of the image, formally unseen. he mentioned the attraction/ repulsion quality of the piece. This was very positive for me as that is the feeling I am trying to create. 

Holger went on to question why I would also have images printed on paper as part of the exhibit. he thought that silk hangings, that the viewer had to move through, touching and feeling the silk, would be more effective. I have ordered 10 A1 prints, so the prospect of paying for them and not using them and then doing more fabric prints is a bit daunting. However, I understand his view and see how valid it is. I will have to wait until the prints arrive and see how they look on the walls in combination with the fabric hangings.

Hanging Experiments

I have two images printed onto silk which I want to use to form a kind of 'funnel' leading the viewer into the room.
I hope that the movement of people in the space will cause the hangings to flutter and move around.

Once the viewer works out the objects within the image, this movement may create a sense of disease.

I bought magnetic hooks as the false ceiling of the studio is held in place with metal strips.
I also have transparent nylon thread and small bulldog clips.

I hung one of the images using the panels making up the wall as a guide. This one I tried without any thread between the hook and the clip.

And the second one:-

Here I have used nylon thread between the hook and clip. This one seems to be less droopy than the first. It is so important to hang them both exactly the same to maintain symmetry which is a key feature in my work.

I can see several faults with these hanging methods:

The images are too high, and need to be below the level of the top edge of the enclosing wall. As it is at this height, the harsh light from the ceiling shines through the fine fabric, making it more difficult to see.

Secondly, the fabric is too droopy and forms the shape of two 'wings'. I think I would prefer it to be straighter. I may have to thread a bamboo pole though the top edge to make it stiffer.

The thread is also too flexible and not strong enough. I have to get fishing nylon which is stronger.

This is the view looking out of the studio. I can see how much better it would look if they were hung lower and closer to the eye level of the viewer.

I plan to attach the images printed on paper to the walls all at the same level. I am considering fixing them to foam board of about 2 cm in depth. This is so that they stand proud of the wall, but there will be no frame distracting the viewers. I am waiting for 10 images to be printed, 5 on glossy paper, 5 on Matt. I plan to fix 3 to each side wall and 4 across the back wall.

I plan to have a small plinth as a shelf in the centre of the back wall which will hold the little drawers of objects and the box file of information about the objects in the images.

 I will have to think carefully about the relationship between the separate images and different surface effects. The light may bounce off the glossy ones, which will determine where in the studio they should be placed. I also need to consider the effect I am trying to create as you move  into and through the space.